First video call with someone you met online: how to prepare
· Callumbra
Going from messages to a video call is a good step: you see the person, hear their voice and within a few minutes you know whether you get along. It's also normal to feel nervous. With a bit of preparation, the first video call becomes a relaxed conversation, not an exam.
Before calling: the tech side in two minutes
- Find a spot with light in front of you (a window or a lamp behind the screen, not behind you).
- Put your phone or computer at eye level and propped up, so the image doesn't shake.
- If you can, use headphones: it sounds better and there's no echo.
- Check what's visible behind you: nothing showing your address, documents or photos you don't want to share.
Agree on how long it will last
Suggesting a short first call, 15 or 20 minutes, takes the pressure off both of you. If the conversation flows, you can always keep going; if not, nobody feels awkward about hanging up.
What to talk about at first
- Pick up something you already talked about by message: «you told me you like…».
- Ask open questions that invite a story: «how did you end up living there?», «what's the best part of your job?».
- Share something about yourself too: a conversation is an exchange, not an interview.
- If there's a silence, that's fine: smile and ask about something you can see on their screen or about their day.
What to be careful about
- Don't share your address, your exact workplace, card details or passwords, however much you trust them.
- Be wary if they ask for money, gifts, codes you receive by SMS or to show something you don't want to show.
- If the person never wants to turn on their camera, or the image looks like a recorded video, take note: they may not be who they say they are.
- You can hang up at any time. You don't need to explain if something makes you uncomfortable.
After the call
If you enjoyed the conversation, tell them with a short message. If you want to meet in person later on, choose a busy public place, tell someone where you'll be and get there and back on your own.
Practice without pressure
If you want to loosen up before that important call, on Callumbra you can talk on video with new people from your browser, with nothing to install, with icebreaker ideas during the call and «Next» to switch to another person. It's 18+ only.
Frequently asked questions
How long should the first video call last?
Between 15 and 20 minutes is a good starting point. If the conversation flows, you can make it longer; if not, ending on time leaves a good impression.
Is it normal to feel nervous?
Yes, it happens to almost everyone. Having two or three questions ready and good lighting helps much more than it seems.